October Playlist

Here’s what we’ve been listening to the most this month at the RedStamp.com offices and warehouse:

How to Accept and Regret Formal Invitations

Ever wondered why some invitations—usually the ultra fancy wedding ones—don’t include RSVP cards? Believe it or not, these convenient cards weren’t always included (and for formal occasions, still aren’t) because etiquette dictates that the invitee send his or her response on personal stationery.

Acceptance

• Formal invitations should be accepted or regretted in the third person
• They should always be handwritten with blue or black ink and should be addressed to the host
• The old etiquette regime dictates you respond on formal, personal stationery
• Consider who you are responding to and use your best judgment
• Including the date and time in your response is a polite way to let your host/hostess know you have the correct date and time of their event

Basic formal acceptance example

Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Dr. and Mrs. Christopher Walter
to dinner
on Saturday, the twentieth of August
at half past seven o’clock

Wedding Acceptance Example

Dr. and Mrs. Katherine McCormack
accept with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner
for Saturday, the fifteenth of June
at half past five o’clock

Regrets

• When you’re forced to send your regrets, you’re not required to explain why you can’t attend, but we think a truthful and brief explanation is considerate
• If replying to multiple parties, list all their names on separate lines. This format works for almost any occasion, from dinner parties to black-tie weddings

Basic formal regret example

Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Villa
regret that
due to a previous engagement
they are unable to accept
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner
For Saturday, the twentieth of August

Our Top 5 Designer 2009 Calendars

It’s that time again: Time to pick out that perfect 2009 calendar for your desk or wall.

But not just any calendar will do.  It has to be stylish, modern and functional.

What’s great about these is that they are as beautiful as they are useful. They’re just a happy thing to have on your desk.

Here are five calendars that will keep you fashionably on-time:

Snow & Graham 2009 Wall Calendar

Night Owl 2009 Wooden Calendar

Snow & Graham 2009 Desk Calendar

Whimsey + Delight 2009 Desktop Calendar

2009 MINI Desk Calendar

Envelope Etiquette

Addressing envelopes can be tricky. Just follow these tips to get it right.

Where to Put the Return Addresses

Traditionally, the return address is written on the front, upper left-hand corner. But some use the back flap, either centered or across the top.

Where to Put the ZIP Code

Tradition would have you write the ZIP directly after the state or province and on the same line. For countries where states or provinces are not used in the address, the postal code goes after the city name. The country always follows on the next line.

How to Address an Envelope to Married Women

If a woman has adopted her husband’s last name, it’s usually safe to use her husband’s first name “Mrs. William Joyner.” This can be a bit old school, however. We favor using a woman’s first and last name, which (good news) even the stuffiest etiquette hounds agree is A-OK these days.

You choose which title you want to use

“Mrs. Katherine Joyner” or “Ms. Katherine Joyner.” For informal letters, first and last name alone is perfectly acceptable (as in, “Katherine Joyner”).

How to Address an Envelope to Widows

If the recipient still uses her husband’s last name, and especially if she is older, address the envelope with her former husband’s first and last name: “Mrs. William Joyner.”

How to Address an Envelope to Divorcees

If the recipient still uses her married last name, and especially if she is older, address the envelope with her first name and her married last name: “Mrs. Katherine Joyner” or “Ms. Katherine Joyner.” If she has re-adopted her last name: “Ms. Katherine McCormack.”

How to Address an Envelope to Couples

Formal correspondence to a married couple with the same last name should read: “Mr. and Mrs. William Joyner.” Informal correspondence should read: “Kate and Will Joyner.” Note that the woman’s name is listed first.

When a married woman has not taken her husband’s name, correspondence is addressed as “Ms. Katherine McCormack and Mr. William Joyner” on the same line. Again, the woman is listed first unless the husband has a professional title, such as Reverend: “Reverend William Joyner and Ms. Katherine McCormack.” Living together but not married? List the names on separate lines.

Doctors are different. It really depends how the doctor is referred to socially. If she uses her title socially, then “Dr. Katherine and Mr. William Joyner” is the way to go. If both are doctors, then we prefer “Drs. Katherine and William Joyner.”

Lawyers and justices of the peace: Refer to these folks as esquires. When using “Esquire” or “Esq.,” just list the name: “Katherine Joyner, Esq.” When writing to an esquire and her spouse, drop the “esquire.”

How to Address an Envelope to Children

Until around the age of 10, first and last name is perfectly appropriate. From the age of about 10 to 21, young ladies are properly addressed as “Miss” and young men as “Master.” After 21 years old, women are addressed as “Ms.” and men as “Mr.”

Thank-You Cards 101: Writing the Perfect One

A well-written thank you note is easy to make when you know the recipe – simply mix one part accepted etiquette with two parts you.

Reasons to Send

You’ll have to think long and hard to come up with an instance when sending a thank-you card isn’t the right thing to do. So the gates are wide open.

• Send a thank you note after the dinner party that turned into a dance party
• For the help you received from a colleague on your big presentation
• After the visit to a friend’s country house or cabin.

Almost any time is the right time to send a thank-you card. It’ll make you feel good, and it’ll make them feel good, too.

Timing Protocol

When sending thank you notes, there is really only one “rule” you need to follow. And that is to be timely.

The official “rules” say you have three days. But with kids and work and your stellar social life, we think one week is a good goal to shoot for.

The event is fresh in everybody’s mind, and that makes it especially easy to write about, too. If you find that the week has flown by—or you’ve literally been flying the whole week— send it as soon as you can. In this case, better late than never definitely applies. (All the rule-makers agree on that one.)

What to Write About…And How!

The most important thing about a thank-you note is to fully convey how much you appreciate the gift. Key words here are “you” and “appreciate.” So, first tip is to write your thank-you note the way you talk.

Contractions, enthusiastic punctuation, and polite slang are allowed. And we suggest you don’t start your personal message with “Thank you for the….” Those wouldn’t be the first words out of your mouth after opening a gift, and they don’t have to be the first words of your thank-you note.

Part One: Warm Welcome

Open with how appropriate the gift is and how wonderful the gift-giver is:

“You’ve always understood my sense of design….”

Or open with the highlights of a weekend spent together:

“We just loved the cocktail runs on the lake and have been talking about them ever since.”

Part Two: Show Appreciation

Yes, now is the time to write the words “Thank you for the .” When appropriate, it’s always nice to follow-up the official Thank You with a phrase or two on how you plan to use the fabulous gift.

Part Three: The Sign-Off

We think looking ahead to the next time you plan to see, speak, or just think of each other is a cheerful way to close.

“We’d love to have you over soon to finish that wicked game of bridge we started in the Hamptons.”

“Let’s debrief after next week’s Project Runway so we can fully gush about how much we love Tim Gunn.”

Extra Credit

Your thank-you card will resonate when it’s in your own voice, but consider also including a little something more.

• Consider a photo from the getaway weekend that shows you with your hosts.
• Or perhaps a pressed wildflower from your stay.
• It could be a specialty chocolate or an invitation to coffee (at a specific date and time).

Just remember this: You don’t want to throw the gift-giving ball back in their court. You merely want to make your thank-you note special.

Dooced Again!

For us, there are few things more thrilling than getting linked to by other bloggers we admire.  Near the top of that list would certainly be Ms. Heather B. Armstrong aka Dooce.  So we were thrilled to see this morning that Heather had posted about our Night Owl 2009 Wooden Desk Calendar:

This calendar truly is unique and made of real wood, with contrasting stains.  Each month features a different colorful flower, which look incredibly rich painted against the wood grain.  It was a popular product even before it got Dooced, so we’re even more excited that more people will be able to enjoy the craftsmanship of this extraordinary calendar.

Thank you again so much, Heather!

P.S. If anyone is in the market for an extremely chic wall calendar, we HIGHLY recommend the 2009 Chuck Calendar, available soon.